So high up in the sky
Shinning upon me
As the sun does the ocean
So long ago have I looked at my moon
So long ago has it shined as it should
No longer do I see my moon
For it shan't shine here
For it shan't shine in a place of such sorrow
My moon cannot shine the way it used to do
Not here in the ghetto
In a place that has made me feel so alone and dark
Oh how I long to see my moon again
But I know I can't
For my moon can't shine in this place
For my moon won't shine in this place of despair
This is about the Concentration Camps
This is about the Warshaw Ghetto
My most favorite part of the poem was the imagery. I thought the imagery outlined more of the minor parts of the holocaust,though just being moved to a Ghetto seemed very horrific at the time. Also the repetition in the first stanza emotionally satisfied the reader;however I felt that you got carried away with repeating words in the second and third stanza. Your video helped complete your poem. The video shows the true beauty of the moon and how we take something for granted until it may/may not be our last time seeing it. Your layout of your blog is good. A minor mistake I see is that you need more pictures! The picture is nice but I think this one photo doesn't explain your poem well. Overall the blog was very good with only minor critiquing.
ReplyDeleteHeather, I agree with Ben about the imagery, the words used to describe the sights was very good. The only thing i didn't understand about the video was that your poem was based on the ghetto but your video was based on life and horror in the concentration camps. The photo was a nice addition but didn't well explain the meaning of the poem i would have liked to see more explanation photos. Overall it was really good with minor fixes.
ReplyDeleteHeather, i feel your poem had great use of imagery throughout it. I also agree with Alex when she said the video and poem was based on different things. For insistence, the character tells the reader that the moon doesn't mean the same to him anymore when he is in the ghetto,then in the video it talks about the conditions of the concentration camps. Other that those things i really think that you did a good job on your poem!
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